im bounced back to Square One

there is nothing more disappointing when there is something that you are so close to getting but slipped and gave away.

im talking about my job interview at Delfi Orchard.
the whole interview could have been a joke,man.
seriously deflating..yes,i feel like a puncture tire now. :(

first...i really think all directors have time mgmt problems.so what you are director?you cant like arrange this time for interview and come in later,or postpone the time.
this is what happen to me TWICE.
that Barang Barang director was late.
and this silly china director is worse.they slot the time at 10.30am,i woke early,reached early enough to wait at the bus stop to dally some time away.yet received a call at 10am telling me to drop by later at 12.
wtf-ish!

SECOND!!i cant believe that director is a CHINA goat.hey sorry..im not against the chinese.
but seriously..its like written in the code that standard interviews,at least those you are interviewing for a decent full time job,are carry out in ENGLISH!

i was like so ready and almost confident to carry out my prepared speech in ENGLISH,when i am to converse in chinese!
hey..for those who dunno chinese..its not a language whereby you can just easily translate english to chinese.

and imagine it was like a spring test..everything you got in my mind in english..is like wipe off.i cant just say in chinese that fluently like that,without preparation.and suddenly conversing in chinese is really a hard task.

i could almost tell in their eyes that im a good-bye.sigh...i love that location and the way it is a small and growing company..its a nice job where i see the career path and everything!
and now?its all gone!
really damnit.

the impact is gr8,but in a negative way.i had to start over again..but i guess i have no choice.its not a game where i can just quit and move on to the next game machine.
well..just imagine you were to abt finish that villain boss but who knows he did a really low trick and finish you instead,AND you gotta start all over at level one.
really..really....sigh...

but there is one thing i learn from that Barang Barang's director at least...i shouldnt just bow and stop at one bump or challenge i face..just move on and you can achieve greater.
well..at least..i have a reason to earn that dough,and its for my family.

Yng said i was pretty harsh to myself..in a way yes.since young,i always wanna achieve the better so at least my parents are not hopeless.the way my elder bro is,is a major disappointment and heartache.i dun wanna see that sad faces on them already.so even im not the 'best',at least..i try to be among the 'goods'.
there is a reason why im am studying hard..not that i love studying,hell no..i just enjoyed my times with my frens there,but i get the grades for my parents.although its never the top grades i managed to get..i guess there is only so much i can achieve.
not a particularly bright person.
sigh..what the fish am i talking about this here?it wont change even i talk about this a hundredth times,and there is no point self-pitying coz there is no need for that.

anyway went to Zara to buy a top so its decent enough to meet Jason's family on Friday.particularly i dun wanna wear things like tank tops,spaghetti straps and black colours.
so we are stuck in b/w 2 colours.one make me look more girlish,another more ..erm..woman.
we picked e latter.
i hope..erm..he likes it.

ai..whatever.
oh come to think of it..
its been a year since Jason and I first knew each other.haha.still regret why i didnt stall more time when he is wooing me.i think im possessed,man.

;p

another day tomorrow.
so back to square one,i tossed that die.